What Have Ten Years Done To Us
by TheMinttu
Summary: In ways that even the blue-eyed girl couldn’t even realize, her presence, her everything was only adding to my long suffering. But was this really hate I felt? One-shot, one-sided Rasputin/Anastasia - isn't that just wacky?


_A/N: First time I watched Anastasia in 1998. Just a while ago I started thinking back to the movies I watched when I was little, only 7 or 8, and that made me very vaguely remember this film. Eventually I ended up watching it again... and _damn_, that's a great movie!_

_Anyway, this one-shot is based on a stupid, _stupid_ joke my brother made when we were watching the film. First I was like "ewww!", then "hmm...", and then, when the fanfic-writing fangirl inside me raised its ugly head, "why not?". I thought someone should make it work – I just had to get it out of my system._

_OOC-ness on Rasputin's part in this one. If you find this pairing repulsive, don't read._

What Have Ten Years Done To Us

Ever since I was doomed to the eternity of the limbo, I'd been waiting for something to happen. Slowly decaying, wallowing in my self-pity. With the source of my true power lost at that night on the ice of the Neva river, I was left in the darkness. As my body started falling apart, I lost the track of time.

The curse was incomplete, I knew that much. It filled me with constant anxiety and restlessness that soon dominated my every thought. I grew to hate my own helplessness and lack of control, hate it from the bottom of my rotting heart. I clung to my hate towards myself and the Romanov family, for it was the thing that got me through every torturing moment of that damned existence.

And then, when my loyal Bartok came back to me, everything changed.

Suddenly I had the power to fulfill the curse. I could finally bring relief for this ever-present agony. I _loathed_ the dark, revolting thing I had become. At last I had the only thing that could save me from this fate.

What held me back?

A lot had happened during the time I'd been gone. She had grown.

Every time I watched the last Romanov through the swirly depths of my precious relic, my anxiety grew. Gone was the little girl who with her loving family had lived such a carefree, secure life. Those days were in the past. Only memories.

In ways that even the blue-eyed girl couldn't even realize, her presence, her everything was only adding to my long suffering.

But was this really hate I felt?

_I am sorry, Anya_.

I had watched the bridge crumble beneath her feet, my face a mask of cruelty, but my mind torn between feelings I couldn't comprehend, except for the pain every single one of them caused me. Every second near her, torment. When had she grown to be so beautiful?

Somehow this had to be finished. If one of us had to go, I wanted to be there.

I wanted to be there with her.

Funny how these things turn out.

And so, here I was now, watching how the once sweet and innocent girl held my cursed half-life, my soul, everything I had left, under one of those tiny, petite feet. How ironic.

_Little Anya, if you only knew_...

"This is for Dimitri!"

My breath hitched into my throat. "Give it back!" I was on my knees now, wanting to beg, hoping her to see. But her heart was hidden from me, for it belonged to someone else. And this was how much she loved him. This was what she was willing to do for him.

"This is for my family!"

Murderer. Monster. _Traitor_. That was all she would ever see. The thought fuelled my desperation as my trembling hands grasped for the fabric of her dress. "I'll tear you to _pieces!_"

_You are tearing me to pieces_.

"And this – this is for _you!_"

And this was all she would ever give me.

"_Do svidaniya_", this angel of death hissed, eyes narrowed and contempt dripping from her every word. The words burned their way into my heart, hurting me deeper that any wound she could have ever inflicted upon me.

Her high-heeled foot came down for the last time.

And although in the end I found myself screaming from the agony of my shattering soul, I almost felt a tiny bit of gratefulness.

Maybe now I could finally have peace.


End file.
